2 days off.

I'm so excited to have the next two days off. The only sick thing is that I know that they will go by too fast. I'm going to try to get my internet up and running. I'm sick of using this tiny key pad on my phone to do these posts. I'm so tired so I'm going to het a head start on sleeping in tomorrow.

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words

I'm sitting here listening to music. I'm really jamming out, putting on my shades and dancing in front it the mirror. I like what I see when I look in the mirror. I'm really starting to see myself. Who knows maybe I do have a glow, but I think its more then that. I love the way I think. I love my passion and my heart. I feel lucky and special to say this because I know a lot of women can't. I know that I'm pretty awesome, it just tends to get clouded in there sometimes. I gotta see the awesomeness more often.

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It's raining, it's pouring.

Just a cold, rainy, blah sort of day. I just want to take a hot bath and cuddle up. I need to do laundry but I'm so extremely exhausted. My mind is just a blank right now. I feel like I have a lot to say but no energy to think of words. I need sleep.

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one minute

I only have one minute. It's been a busy day. Ahh sure felt nice to not work. Watching movies and enjoying some time with the kids.

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Another 9hr day.

I really feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I'm so sick of my job, it makes me wanna cry. I had to hold back my tears and remember that this is not the only job in the world. It is not the end all, be all of jobs. I have the ability to find another one. I have good job skills and I can be a hard worker. I'm feeling like I could care less about the place I work at. I sacrifice so much but get so little.

I have a lot of good in my life to focus on. It's time to think of that and not stress about things.

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Worst mom ever.

I feel horrible. I missed my sons kindergarten graduation. I never for anything telling me about it. I still feel incredibly guilty. He was so sweet about it and said it was ok and that he still loved me. I almost cried. I asked him if I was the worst mom ever. He sweetly said I wasnt. I took him to Toys R Us to make up for it. I don't know if that was the right thing to do but he did have a good report card also. God I feel bad still.

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Weird to think about.

I was just thinking about how much time has gone by since I started this blog. Every this is so different yet not. I don't think that I would have thought things would be the way they are. I'm sure the next part will be just as surprising. I always finding myself wanting to know the outcome, I just need to appreciate the journey for once. I want to cherish this time no matter how bleak it seems at times. I still have a lot to learn and look forward to.

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Hines Ward wins DWTS!

Horray, he did it! I am so proud. I can honestly say that my votes were out to good use. Hines was such a pleasure to watch every Monday. His dancing brightened my days. I know, its a little pathetic, but I'm so proud. I just had to boast a little about it.

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Always late but worth the wait.

I have had all day off today, yet here I am still posting this with minutes to spare. Things are better today. My heat gauge likes to play tricks on me. Today my engine was getting up thrrr, then it went down a little and stayed that way. I just shook my finger at it. My car must be a woman! Ha ha. Well if you can't laugh at yourself, who can ya laugh at?

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Chicken Alfredo

Tonight was nice. I had some delicious Chicken Alfredo with my mother and my kids. It was nice to have people to sit down and eat with.

So I have a bit of a dilemma with ky car. I still think there is something wrong with it. I was driving home from my mom's house and by the time I got home it was almost on the yellow of the thermostat. I am just going to drive it for now, but I'm worried it is going to cost me more money to fix it yet again. I know I need to not worry. I don't need to stress. Maybe I should just pray.

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SuperWoman!

I am wearing my superman t-shirt,which makes me feel super! Ha, more like super prego. Funny thing is I feel like a super hero when I'm with child. It fits my mood today because I've gotten a lot done. Now I still have a lot to do but I'm concentrating on what has been done. Mmm, I smell my blueberry muffins! I've also baked! I'm not sure how much more will get done tonight. If I want to relax, I will. No pressure.

I'm off to continue being super. Now if only I had some super power (besides the ability to make a person inside me)

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workaholic.

I am exhausted. I put in 9 hours at work. I knew it was going to be a long day from the get go. Tomorrow will be a long day also, I'm so not looking forward to it. The only thing I'm looking forward to is the people I work with.

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Parking lot post.

Yeah, I'm sitting in my parking lot and I just noticed the time. I just got here and I'm ready to sit down and relax. Sorry this is so short. Gotta do what I gotta do.

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Going to bed early.

I haven't been awake for very long today but I already feel ready for bed. I'm kind of in a mood. I don't want to see anyone or go anywhere and I hate that. I an feeling a bit uncomfortable because I chipped a tooth today, even though its not very noticeable I am feeling very self conscious about it. I know it should be an easy fix and I am fully covered under my insurance plan, but I continue to stress about it and I'm trying to stop. I don't really know how to stop stressing so much. I guess I'm just thinking a little rest will help. I sure hope so.

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Sitting in the rain.

There is a nice rain falling tonight. It's not cold out, just cool and the rain is light. It is nice feeling it on my skin. I love the way it makes the earth smell. I love the sound it makes on the roof of my car. I will just sit here and enjoy this sweet little spring rain for a moment.

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sick day

Yes, I'm taking a sick day I feel like crap and I just want to rest. I haven't felt like this in a while, but it sucks.

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T-bone steak

I just cooked myself a delicious t-bone steak and corn on the cob. It was so yummy! I ate all of it and now I wanna sleep. I'm proud of myself because I didn't resort to getting fast food, which I usually do. I am a decent cook most of the time. It's just hard to decide what to cook when I'm really hungry. No one wants too cook when their exhausted. Now its time for me to get some beauty sleep.

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A lot on my mind.

I've had a lot on my mind lately. I even went old school and wrote some things down on paper. I wrote about two pages before I stopped. It felt nice to have a creative rush. I felt that if I didn't write these thoughts down they would be easily brushed aside. I should probably start carring around a pen and a note pad with me. I will most likely turn those notes into copy posts in the next few days. Hey, its not cheating, just being more organized and prepared. It's not like I planned it. I just had to get it out and put it somewhere.

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Another day bites the dust.

So, last night I attempted posting but failed because Blogger was down. I don't know how long it was down for but I know its working now! Well I missed another day. I'm a little disappointed but life goes on I suppose.

Tomorrow is my sons birthday party. I think it might get moved indoors though. The weather is not going to cooperate with us. Oh well, I guess we will go to the arcade/pizza place. It will still be lots of fun.

The computer is still on the fritz. I tried fixing it myself but failed. Guess it will go to the computer doctor on Monday. Now its time for me to go to bed!

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Again, really?

Well its another late posting night for me. I need to schedule it better. I don't even feel like I've gotten anything done today. Yeah, my car is fix and that is awesome! Just one little wrinkle ironed out. Now my computer needs to get fixed. I am pretty sure that I can do it on my own, I just don't want to lose all of my information, pictures, and important stuff. Well, maybe I can get stuff done tonight, or a steak made, at least.

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crap don't hate me

I'm late. I officially missed a day. Well crap. I don't need to stress about it. I got enough to stress about. My car is spending the night at the car doctor. I hope everything will be ok. I guess I will see tomorrow...

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wall post.

My stomach dropped today when I saw my ex posted something on my Facebook wall. It was only one of those stupid app things, but still. I don't know what to think, but I think its pretty sad that you have time to do some stupid game on Facebook but you can't actually contact me when I need to talk about somethin super important. I don't know what is going to happen with him.

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Extra special Mother's day!

Today is Mother's day! Not only that, but it is also my oldest sons 8th birthday! So today is extra special! I made him/my mom a cake, wrapped his present, and got my mom a dozen roses. I wish I could have done more but I know its the thought that counts.

Well it was a very very nice day. The weather was perfect and so was everything else. I spent a lot of time putting together lego things. I ate some cake and had some pizza. Another birthday for the books... this momma is exhausted!

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Talking things through.

It's good to talk things through. It's getting to be tough. I like to feel like I'm in control of things, even when I'm not. I'm not sure if this venting is making me feel better, or worse. I guess it is what it is. I'm getting excited about Mother's day. It is also my sons birthday, which is cool. I just want the day to be super special for him.

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Broken stuff

So my computer decided to take a crap on me. This comes at a great time because my car is also acting up. So, I hope I can get this posting thing to work via smart phone. Oh goodness, I need more problems like I need a whole in the head. Maybe I can finally get some stuff done around here. I just hope I can save the important things on my computer. It is 6 years old so I guess its not really surprising that it is breaking. I need some good luck or karma thrown my way.

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Whatever.

I had high hopes for today. It was going to be so awesome. I was going to go to the park and take some pictures. I was going to just enjoy the day to myself and get somethings done. Nope, none of that happened. My camera battery was dead when I got to the park so I just went home. On my way to go pay some bills my car started to overheat. That was just great. Now I have a million things more that I have to worry about. Like I didn't have enough on my plate to begin with. Geez can a girl catch any sort of break around here. Now I hope my car doesn't need some serious work. Oh goodness. I guess I will just take it as it comes. 

Hating hate.

I hate it when I feel hatred towards someone else. I feel like this feeling is just poisoning my soul. I pray sometimes to come from a place of love and forgiveness. It just get too hard. It takes over and makes me confrontational and irrational. I know that my hatred is for a reason. I think they made me hate them. Their actions caused this. Now, how do I love something that is half of what I hate? That is my burning question right now. I just have to have faith in karma. That is one thing that brings me a little smidgen of peace. 

Pizza Time.

I made the most amazing looking pizza. I just had to have pizza even though it is midnight. I guess my cravings are kicking in. I don't want all of these post to surround my pregnancy but it is the main thing that I have going on in my life right now and I think it will be nice to look back on this and remember how I felt. I can barely even remember what it was like with my other children.

Wow I better get to posting this one. I am running a little bit late, its been like that all day for me. I am just ready for another day off. I need a vacation. 

Baby brain.

I can't think. I cant remember little stupid things. I feel like a cloud is in my brain. I can't even think of people's names, and these are people that I see almost everyday. I hear that it gets worse. I am not looking forward to that for sure.

I'm just going to sit back and relax, maybe bake some brownies. I hope I don't forget to take them out of the oven. I think the craving is too concerned and will kick in over the part in my brain that forgets things. I have been wanting some brownies for the last few days and now I get to make them!! Time to get started.

Historic Day.

I am watching the news right now. At first I was upset that what I was watching got interrupted but it comes with amazing news. Osama Bin Laden is dead! Thank god! This day will go down in history!!! You never think that you would be celebrating the death of anyone but I think this is amazing. I just hope that it helps bring back some of our loved ones that are overseas. I also hope this is the turning point for some peace in our country and in the whole world. This ends an era! We will never forget 9-11 and now we will never forget this day, our day of redemption. Finally I hope we can feel some peace. I think the is a cause to celebrate!