Time to get real.

I haven't been lying to ya'll, just holding back some things. I have been battling weather or not to say something  or not. I don't want to filter myself on here but I just want to protect myself and a couple other people. I am still wavering weather or not to tell my secret. The thing of the thing is that it is not an ideal situation. I want to feel like I have some sort of tact and class.

Ok, here goes....I feel like I am gonna barf and I don't know if it from the nerves or the morning sickness. There it is out in the open blogosphere. I have taken two test at home and both have been positive. I am going to go to Planned Parenthood today and get a real test so I can have proof of pregnancy. I can't say that I am excited about it because I don't think I will get any support from the father. I already have 2 boys, and their dad is pretty much as good of a dad as I could ask for. I haven't told him yet and I am not sure how. I deleted his phone number and the only way I have to contact him is Facebook. I still have all of that to figure out. I think I will save this post in my drafts until I get back from Planned Parenthood tonight.

I am home now and the test went just as expected. I am still pretty weary about this post. I think I will be judged and looked down on. I just have to hold my head high because the one thing I am proud of is my mothering capability. I am a good mom. No one is perfect. The only person that can judge me is god.