Playing Hooky

So my son tells me this morning that he was not feeling good today. I decided to keep them both home from school. I didn't think that I should venture out in the -5 degree weather to just take one child to school. I, once again, think that I was fooled. My son is not acting sick at all. I might have gotten swindled. Oh well I guess we played hooky today.

There is a 2 hour delay for school tomorrow, which is nice. I will get to sleep in a little and that is awesome! Any day that involves me sleeping in is great.

I gotta say I love it when everything gets icy and the trees are filled with frost. I just want to go out there and take pictures of it but my current camera isn't great at it. Good news is that I bought my very first professional camera today!! It will be amazing!! I am so excited. I hope that the trees freeze again! I am going to go crazy with it. WOOOO!! I can't wait til it gets here!!

I work alone.

I almost had to run the store all by myself today. I was so frustrated that I wanted to bawl. Everyone freaks out at the slightest bit of snow. So, at 11 o'clock this morning when 3 people were suppose to come in, only one ended up at work. She was probably like 5 minutes late to boot. I was so relieved to see her that I didn't care  that she was late. The next two people came in about an hour late.

I was so pissed and wanted to yell at all of them. I didn't because I didn't want to work alone. Sometimes I feel like I am the only person there that even cares. (excluding my boss and a couple other workers) I work with a bunch of whiny little brats. They don't know that this job is easy, probably the easiest one that they will ever have. The customers didn't do anything to you so don't take it out on them. They are the reason that you can buy all the things you want to buy. Do you want to make more money? Then get another job. 

I just hate it when people don't appreciate what they have.  

Ice ice baby.

Oh it is icy outside. It was like I was ice skating in the parking lot. Freezing fog and all that good stuff. I hope I don't have a serious sheet of ice on my car in the morning. Good thing I just invested in some deicer for my car.

I need to make a late night run to wally world. Ugh.. I don't want to but I know it has to be done. Oh well.

I had a lot of fun out with the ladies last night. I got pretty tipsy and had my first shot of Patron. It was really good and I don't even like tequila all that much. I only danced a little but it was so horribly hot in the downstairs of the bar. All in all it was a fun night. Lots of good times had and memories made. 

Goin out on the town.

What part of party don't ya understand??? Oh it is ladies night and I'm feeling right. HA!! Yep yep I am going out with some girls and we are gonna get crunk. I don't have time for a long post, but oh well. I need a night out and some fun.


Peace out yo!!!

Taking the high road sucks.

Sometimes I just wish I could be hurtful and mean, but that is just not me at all. I hate wasting my energy on negative feelings. I just hate when people get to me and hurt my feelings. I just want them to feel the pain that I feel tenfold! I know that karma will work things out.


You may ask why I am feeling this way. Well, today is my ex's birthday (the most recent one) I won't lie, it's a tough day for me. Things have not really ended with us. I hate that. I haven't talked to him since the 8th of this month and I haven't even seen him this year! So I am assuming that it is over, no, it is over. I will not continue to be treated like an option. 


I know that I deserve WAY better. Some of the things he said to me just blew me away. I just hate the person I was when I was with him. It was like he was a disease and I didn't want a cure.


**high off of love drunk from my hate
it’s like i’m huffin’ paint and i love it the more i suffer, i suffocate**

It is all about me now. I am going to do the best I can to move on. I know I am better then him.  I just need to give myself the love that I deserve. I can do that the best on my own. Thanks for just letting me vent. 

Bittersweet

Now, I know I will have much more to add on this subject of excitement. Today, well last night, I got a phone call at work. It was my mom and she told me that they accepted an offer that she put on a house!!! A HOUSE!! I am so happy for her. This has been a dream of hers for a long time. I can't wait to see it and I am kinda sad I haven't yet.

This is a bit bittersweet for me because the place that she lives in now is where I spent all of my teenage years. I know I need to let it go, but it is sad for me. All the memories..... The first "real'' party I had was there. I had countless sleepovers and birthday parties there. That is the place where I brought my first son home from the hospital. I use to just walk around the neighborhood and meet my friends outside under the streetlights. I camped out in the backyard and slept through the neighbor dog getting sprayed by a skunk and sneaking in our tent. Doing cheers with the neighbor girl on a picnic table. Oh I could go on with the memories.

I know that even if she doesn't move that I would have to let go of that place. It lies on the flood plains here and they are planning a rezone. I have no interest in living there but it will hurt to pack it all up to a new place. I know seeing the excitement that my mom will be going through will be contagious. A new neighborhood for my kids to explore. A nice garage for my mom so she won't have to scrape her windows. It will be closer to me and her work. So many new and exciting things await this happy time. 

It's my Friday!

Yeah!!! I don't work for the next two days! I am so ready to be off work. Its not like I have been really busy at work but it is just nice to have some days off!

I feel like I am not in a very good mood today, despite my two day mini vacation. I don't know why I am not in good spirits. I guess once again, it's just one of those days. I just feel so confused about everything. I feel like I am over thinking everything. Ugh.....make it stop.

Oops I did It again

Ok, I forgot again. I just lost track of time. I feel like I'm a teenager and I am sneaking in after curfew. I don't know what has got into me. I guess yesterday was a little bit different then expected. My mind is a little cloudy now.

We can always just talk about the Steelers winning the AFC championship!!! I am so stoked!! The super bowl will be GREAT this year. I love it when I get to watch my team kick some ass. I am just hoping for an action packed game! GO PITTSBURGH!!!!

Let's play pretend.

Ok I am in so much trouble because this post is so late. So sue me! I was busy, gosh! I watched the Steelers win the AFC championship game, ok! Goodness. I was out late and just got home. I feel the need to relax and lay down with a nice hot cup of chocolate.....Don't judge me.

If you build it.....they will come

You know I have been thinking about this quote from Field of Dreams. I don't even know the last time I  have watched this movie, or even if I have seen it all. But I have been thinking about the deeper meaning to this quote and how it pertains to me, and my life.

I need to stop thinking that things will just come to me. If I really want something I have to work, and work hard for it. I need to build it. I can't just sit here thinking that I will get what I want with no work involved. I gotta do work. I might not like it now but I think in the end I will be pleased with any outcome, knowing that I tried my best and hardest for what I want.

Old Photos

These are just a few of my old pictures. The top 3 are from about 4 years ago with my first digital camera. The bottom one is from 2 years ago in Minnesota. I just like the lines in it.

drawn a blank

I thought I had a million things to say. Now that I get behind the computer I just have drawn a blank. I have had a slow and lazy week. I only got a few things done, I went to Zumba class and cleaned house a little, other then that, not much going on in my neck of the woods.

I am kinda teetering in my positivity. I find it a little frustrating going from relationships to being single. Yes, I have said it and I am not going to take it back. I am single. I find myself not really ready or willing to get back into anything. I know I need time to "heal" or whatever. I say "heal" loosely because I wasn't really broken up about it. I just hate that it never really ended. This might cause me to help along my abandonment issues. I have had a few other relationships that just ended by them leaving with no explanation. That messes with me. I need to just be with myself.

Ok, enough couch talk. I feel like I might depress anyone that reads this. I don't want to do that. I like being positive, when I can. I love my life and wouldn't trade it with anyone!

Question time.

Seems like for the last few days I have been asked al ot about the meaning of different words from my 7 year old. It really takes me back to when I was a kid and asked a million questions. I try not to get frustrated and I know that answering them will only make him more intelligent. He is just sopping up all the knowledge he can. He has asked what cells are, what a blood bank is, what intimidate means, and more that I can't think of. It seems like every new word he hears needs a definition.

He also informed me that he knows what the word "gay" means. I totally cringed. I just tried to tell him that it's first meaning was happy, and now its not such a nice word to say.......Oh motherhood :)

Relax and just breath...

I had a couple of times today where I just needed to take a deep breath and relax. I seem to let certain situations get to me. I get mad about something small. Well, maybe mad is not the right word, frustration, that's it! I need a full nights sleep I think. And I am ready for bed right now!! Ha ha, yeah right!

I know that I haven't been posting very much lately and I am not going to apologize for it because I am just not feeling it. I need some creative activity of some sort. I am going to try my best to get some pictures taken soon. Of what? I don't have a clue. It will come to me I'm sure.

I need to get out of this funk.......once again.

Once again

I am having doubts again about going back to school. Is it worth it? Do I want to owe thousands in student loans? Will the time away from my kids affect them in a bad way? Can I handle school again? Four years is a long time, will I still want to be a photographer after all this? I do think so. It is just a very large gamble. I could just go for a certificate, but is that enough to get my foot in the door?

I just am still unsure about all of the above. I just wish it would be clearer. I have a feeling this is going to take a while to know the answers. I have been asking myself these questions for a long time. I still have no clarity. Oh what to do?

A bit distracted

I can't believe that I came close to forgetting to post. I am a bit distracted because I just purchased a Wii! It is so much fun. Me and the kiddo's have been playing for like 3 hrs. I am just as bad as they are! The Kirby game we got is just a blast and everything is made of yarn.

I am so worn out from working 5 days in a row and being sick most of them. I need a good nights rest. I don't feel sick anymore, which is nice, just tired. We will camp out in the living room tonight and watch a movie before bed. I know its late but there is no school tomorrow. I still gotta work but tomorrow is my friday!

Oh happy MLK day!
Peace and equality for all

Today was a good day

Yes it was. I got my kids now, and we are just having fun. I got them both of them new bedding and a small toy. They are excited to be home and I missed them so much. I think this week is going to be a lot of fun! I get an extra day off and they both have no school on Monday and Tuesday. Hooray!! Now I wonder how much cleaning I will get done? Probably more then last week, because I was sick.

Well I hate to play favorites but I would rather be watching this movie with my kids!

It's all about the small victories!

Yep! One small step to be celebrated! Found my phone! (Yay) Steelers won (Double Yay) I found a dollar in search of my phone. Better then none of any of those. I love the silver lining of things. It is usually not hard for me to find. Today has been a day full of silver linings on golden clouds. I know that sounds a whole lot corny but I don't care.

I get to watch my lovely team play for yet another week! I hope we don't have to play the Patriots but yet again a victory against them would be the best. You're only the best when you beat the best!!! Hell yeah!!

Lost phone

Yes, I miss placed my cell phone. That sucks. I need a new brain I guess. I can't remember where I had it last. It just sucks all together. I feel out of sync with the world. I kind of like it a little bit just because sometimes I hate talking on the phone. I feel like I am missing a part of me though. That is just sad.

ERG I am just so frustrated. Shit!!!

Im so over it

I am over feeling like crap. I am over not getting good sleep. I am over waking up in sweat. I am so over coughing until I feel like I am going to vomit. I am over feeling like shit.

I am pissed at a few of my co-workers right now, not for not covering my shift, but for not answering my calls at all. A no would suffice but not a total blow off of my call. Good lord just grow some balls and say no. Don't ignore me. I hate being ignored.


kthxbye

More flu cases showing up

More flu cases showing up

my eyes hurt

Yes I still am a little under the weather. I am also feeling a little guilty for wasting my days off with doing nothing but sitting on the couch and playing catch up on my favorite shows. I couldn't stay up to watch them all. I needed some R&R thats for sure. I will try to just feel better instead of feeling guilty.

Well, with the little energy that I have I am going to try and get motivated. My eyes are the only thing that hurts right now. I think a couple of advil will help me out.

Five One's

The blah feeling continues. I try to fight it but it is consuming me. I was a tiny bit productive but then the chair and some tea called my name. I know I probably just need a hot shower and some regular clothes, but I just want to sit here, or there. I can't seem to get comfortable. Oh blah. I should just start feeling awesome.

I am having my own marathon of how I met your mother. I love this show but I need to invest in some of the other seasons. I have 1, 2, and 3. I think I have watched them all at least 20 times. I am starting to quote the show.

I should get back to doing nothing. Too much brain stimulation is exhausting me. I am sure I will be 100% tonight or tomorrow. Just gotta rest.

Colder then cold....

I sure am all over the place today. I think I am getting the flu or something :( I just ache all over. I have the next two days off so I can rest. For the love of god I hope nobody tries to come over or call. Ha ha. Well maybe a call is ok, but seriously who ever knocked on my door at 345 in the morning today should be kicked in the shins!!!

I think I am going to stay away from the outside world until Thursday. Call me anti social, I don't care. It is seriously freezing @ss out there! I think I have everything I need except for my coffee cream that I left at work. *facepalm* Oh well I like tea today.

I am sorry but I really am not in the mood to type anything else.....Please forgive me.

.....Oh, but high five to me for getting home from work before 10pm!!! Hooray!

Just Sunday

Just another regular Sunday here. Its cold and I need some warmth. I am in need of some warm, yummy, comfort food. I am so over winter! I guess I better just suck it up because there is about 4 more months of it.

Work was a little interesting. I got to spend sometime asking a co-worker about her different lifestyle. It was very knowledge filled. *Ha ha!* I always find it fun learning about someone else and their opinion of things.

Well, now I am off to indulge myself in some mindless reality tv. Don't judge....

Magic 8 ball

I sometimes wish I had a magic 8 ball to make the tough decisions for me. I know I gotta put my big girl panties on, but sometimes it is just plain hard. I suppose this is all about growing and learning and what not. I shouldn't want to take the easy way out but I have a knack at doing so. I need to be fair to myself and be honest. I am not going to rush into any decisions right now. I am going to sit back and just let things happen and do the best I can at voicing my opinion.

I also am having mixed feelings about the way people will judge my decisions. I feel like some of my close friends will be angry with me if I choose one way. I shouldn't care right? The thing is I do.

Well I am determined to make this a good Saturday. I am a little worried about how 2011 has started off. It hasn't been the best, but not the worst either. I don't think I really believe that how you spend the new year reflects on how your year will turn out. Last year things started out great. I began the year in a relationship. It ended though. I have yet to kiss someone this year.... Oh well.

Retraction

I guess once again I jumped the gun on that one. I wouldn't say that I am not single but I wouldn't say that I am taken.....I really just don't know what to do. I don't really know if I want to talk about it though.

I think it might snow here this weekend. I am tempted to make some Zuppa Touscana, bur I know that it would ruin my diet, well my attempt at a diet that is. I haven't really been that strict with it. I need to start. My plan is to lose 10 lbs by April. I feel like that is a more then reasonable goal. I just need to step it up with the exercise.

Ok movie time with the kids. We are watching Toy Story 3.

Until tomorrow.....

Unofficially Official

I guess you could say that I am officially single. I was going to say back on the market but that just makes me sound like I am for sale. I am usually quick to jump into being single, but not this time. I guess you could say I am slightly soured. I don't think I would consider myself heartbroken. I have not shed a tear over this "boy" and that makes me feel good! I have to take some soul inventory I suppose.

Whatever.....enough of my relationship woes. I guess that is all that I really have going on. How sad. I have so much to learn. I am trying the positivity thing, but sometimes I just want to punch positivity right in the face! No one can be positive all the time, right? I guess I just need to find the balance.

Well I am home from work now and ready to relax with my kids and watch a movie. Oh I love movie time with them. I love it when I work days. Too bad today is my only day shift this week.

Internet fixed!

Oh man I have had so much that I wanted to say. I have been without internet at home for about 2 days. That was 2 days too long, for sure. I am not sure what the issue was but the tech support guy had to come and fix it. So now I am back with a vengeance!

I don't know if I have the ability to type everything that I was thinking about in the last few days. It just gets lost in the mess that is my head right now. It is just full of emotions and stuff

You would think that I would have no problem posting on my smart phone but I still can just post by text. Ugh

Ok I have internet issues, and that last post has major spelling issues. Hopefully it can be fixed tomorrow. It's stressing me out.

I hate my computer at the moment. I dint know why it has decided to take a cap on me.

The second day of the year.

Today started off much like yesterday, minus the missing purse and the throbbing head. I was still very very tired this morning. It is just plain and simple that I am not a morning person. I would like them much better if I wasn't so tired. Mornings are never like they are in the Disney movies.

There is something bothering me but, I would rather not talk about it. I know this is suppose to be my place to vent but I just feel so emotionally exhausted with this subject that I just don't want to think about it. I go over and  over everything that is said and I always come up even more confused then before. I start to think things are getting better and then they get worse. Oy....

On to positive stuff. I, once again, am going to do me! I want to do more this year. I want to help others more. If that isn't what humanity is about then I don't know what it is. Help your fellow humans. I don't know how I am going to start about doing this. Maybe some volunteer work or just something small. I think it would be heartwarming.

But on another note I will turn 30 this year! OMG

fried chicken cure

Oh man! What a way to spend the first day of the year. I am so tired. Fried chicken and just sitting on the couch is my cure! Let's just hope that this is the worst hangover for the year. I am going to make this one short so I can get back to laying on my couch. It needs me, and I need it.