I wish I would have saw this dude before I went on my shopping spree. Maybe it would have made me feel better about it. It was honestly the most awkward moment this year. I saw the guy that took me on my very first date. (this all happened when I was 24 and I was freshly single from the breakup with my kids' dad. I never went on dates before. The only time I went out with the kids' dad was with his parents or with the kids. So I think, technically the guy I saw today was the first man I have went on a date with.)
Picture this, ok. I walked into get some takeout Chinese food. I was all by myself in my huge winter jacket. I didn't look my best but I didn't look a hot mess either. I had flat ironed my hair earlier in the day, and the fact is if it weren't for my hideous winter jacket, I woulda looked semi hot! I told the women at the counter that I wanted my food to go and she said ok. (The place where I was eating was a make your own stir fry type place) So, I moved my way to get my food and I saw him. I know he saw me. I made my way down to the bowls and saw that they were leaving so I tried my hardest to take my time. I felt like he wanted to say hi but he was with his wife, oh and their 3.... or 4 or 2 kids. I got my bowl and decided to make eye contact. He saw, I smiled and breathed a tiny hi. He smiled and said hi back. I felt so small, like I was such a sorry, sad person with my take out for one and my huge coat.
I reflected on my drive back home. I thought about our dates and the memories that I still keep of him. It took me a long time to get over him, and we were never serious. I have known him since high school. I only had one class with him but it was probably one of the few classes I went to. OH MAN I need to do something. I need to knock down and start rebuilding my foundation. I always seem to want what I can't have. I guess we all do that, right? We are always taught to aim for our dreams even if they seem unattainable. Where do you draw the line???
Picture this, ok. I walked into get some takeout Chinese food. I was all by myself in my huge winter jacket. I didn't look my best but I didn't look a hot mess either. I had flat ironed my hair earlier in the day, and the fact is if it weren't for my hideous winter jacket, I woulda looked semi hot! I told the women at the counter that I wanted my food to go and she said ok. (The place where I was eating was a make your own stir fry type place) So, I moved my way to get my food and I saw him. I know he saw me. I made my way down to the bowls and saw that they were leaving so I tried my hardest to take my time. I felt like he wanted to say hi but he was with his wife, oh and their 3.... or 4 or 2 kids. I got my bowl and decided to make eye contact. He saw, I smiled and breathed a tiny hi. He smiled and said hi back. I felt so small, like I was such a sorry, sad person with my take out for one and my huge coat.
I reflected on my drive back home. I thought about our dates and the memories that I still keep of him. It took me a long time to get over him, and we were never serious. I have known him since high school. I only had one class with him but it was probably one of the few classes I went to. OH MAN I need to do something. I need to knock down and start rebuilding my foundation. I always seem to want what I can't have. I guess we all do that, right? We are always taught to aim for our dreams even if they seem unattainable. Where do you draw the line???
No comments:
Post a Comment