Whew....I still have time

I still have some time left. I am sorry this post is so late but I had a semi hectic day. I woke up to about 5 missed calls and 2 voice mails about coming into work early. My god people let me sleep in for a bit. Ha, j/k but it wasn't so bad.

 Now I get 2 days off in a row, to do what with? I have no clue. My best guess is clean and Christmas shop. I am feeling a little bit of nervousness with money but I know it will all be ok.

Not much to write really fast about. My son got an award for good effort at school, which makes me proud, of course. Then I raced to work today. Thats about it.

I feel a draft...

My stupid windows are so drafty! I am freezing in here. Now, I don't wanna do anything except lay down and snuggle up. I wouldn't mind seeing my "M.F." but I just don't feel like going anywhere. It sure is a lazy night.

These are a few pics from the parade of lights!

I am watching the Monday night football game, which is semi interesting. There are some of the old Steelers players playing which is fun to watch. I really wish that I had more to say but I really don't

Whoops...I'm a grinch

Why again is this the happiest time of the year? Is it all of the stress from crowded stores and the lines, and the grouchy people. I know it is all about the giving, don't get me wrong, but some people are just plain hard to shop for, and that stresses me out. I guess it is from years of working in a mall that has soured me a little.

Ok.....think positive, remember? I love making Christmas goodies. I love eating them too! Decorating the whole house and having all the lights off and just having the light from the tree is nice. I love all of the ornaments that I have from my childhood. I like some Christmas music, but it tends to get annoying after a while. I love the little things my kids make at school and their Christmas programs. Of course, I love spending time with family....if I even get the chance to.

Alright I am done ranting...........maybe, well for now, yes.

Losing my grip?

I had the strangest dream today. I dreamed that my fingers were cut off! I freaked out for sure. It was one of those dreams that just stick with you and was so real. I wonder what it means. Maybe I'm losing my grip on somethings? Who knows?

Tonight was the parade of lights! All of the lite up vehicles and the horses were awesome. The weather was a bit chilly, but we huddled up in our blankets with hot chocolate. Good times and great memories. I will post some of the pictures when I get the chance. Some pictures came out a little blurry but still ok.

Oh it just feels nice to put on a pair of pajama pants and kick back and relax! I haven't been home for more then 2 hours since Tuesday. It will feel nice to lay on my couch and just kick back. It's nice that the first part of the chaos is over. I actually got some of my Christmas shopping done! It feels good.

Another quickie

Ok, so this one is going to have to be a quick one, again. I have yet to sleep at my house in the last 2 days and probably won't tonight. Man oh man, was last night a trip or what. I spent an hour and a half in the freezing cold for stupid deals at toys r us. All to save a measly 10 bucks. Today was busy busy busy. Not the busiest but still. Ok gotta get going and get my relaxation on. Oh black Friday how I love that you are now another year away.

Stuff it!

So I am sitting at my mothers house and it is still chaotic with just the 4 of us. Go figure. I am in charge of the turkey today! I hope I don't screw it up.  I will also be in charge of a couple other dishes too.  We had a little late start this morning but I am thankful that I got to sleep in today :)


I was just thinking to myself yesterday that next Thanksgiving I will be 30.  That won't be so bad right ? Well who knows. But I figure this needs a little something, so with it being turkey day I thought it would be right for a thankful list.

I am thankful for......
 Family, duh, they really are tha bomb!
 Friends....another duh right there! They are also pretty amazing
 A roof over my head
 My job, even though it sucks sometimes, most of the time it is pretty decent
 The Pittsburgh Steelers.......of course
 My camera
 Life

I was thinking to myself a little earlier, and I found it funny that the day we focus on what we have in our lives is followed by the day we focus on what others don't have, and what they need. Just a little funny strange.



The house is full of yummy smells and black friday ads. It is almost a sensory overload. I like it. I am thankful for it.

Wacky Wednesday

Meh....thats how I feel today. I got a late start and I hate that feeling. Now I feel rushed and like I have so much to do and so little time. Today is day number 6 at work. Whew, I need a vacation already. It didn't help that I had a coffee catastrophe earlier. Coffee grounds teamed up against me and ruined a whole pot of coffee. That right there, ruins my day. Eeh. I just hate feeling stressed like this.....

Ok, breath......and have a good cup of coffee.

My cell phone hates me....

So I have been sitting here for the last 10 minutes trying to post something from my cellular device. It's not working that great. I just wanted to post a little something something before I go back to work. I don't get off until 10 so I wasn't quite sure if I would make it or not. I guess we will see.

Ok I made it in time. Well I kinda forgot until just now..... but I still made it before midnight!! ha ha!

Well not much to say. I am getting excited for Thanksgiving though!

Monday rant...

So the snow is nice to look at but not so nice to drive in! It took me about 10 minutes to go 2 blocks. We probably would have been better off walking to school but it was a balmy 7 degrees out! Then people continued to be a-holes to me. Um, hi! Please don't walk in the middle of the road while I fish tail through it, thanks. I just about got stuck in a couple of spots but I managed to truck on through. I am not looking forward to driving to work. Honestly the only thing I'm looking forward to is Thursday and Wednesday night..... Well I think the snow has stopped for now. I really don't want to get stuck. I need to invest in a 4wheel drive of some sort. I know the snow will grace us with its presence again. Its a love hate relationship with me and snow......

1 month 1 day

I can't think of other people when it comes to my passion. Does that make sense? What I mean is I can't think about how successful other people are at what I want to do. I just need to focus on myself. Am I being the best I can be at it? Who cares what someone else is doing, its time to focus on what I'm doing.....
I know this lesson might seem a little weird but it is something I need to work on. I tend to get discouraged easily and I feel like just concentrating on myself will help that.
 Oh the joys of being a women! Ha! My tendencies to over analyse every damn thing. The need to feel beautiful. No, nothing is simple in the world of being a women. Just like the weather, our moods can change at the speed of light. But you probably know that by now. It is frustrating at times. I don't feel like men have any sort of challenges like a woman, but hey, I have never had that experience so I can't judge. We all know that men think we are crazy, believe me I have the days that I think I am. I do, sometimes, think it would be much easier to be a man. But I would never change being a woman, I just embrace it.

"So take me as I am. This may mean you'll have to be a stronger man"


Mmmkay so the Steelers won today. *doin a dance* Any day my team wins is a good day for me. Today is the middle of my 6 days working in a row. Hoo wee!!

11 months to go!

Yes, there is only 11 months left of my 20's. I have to say this month has been pretty weird/crazy/i don't know. I think this next month will be crazier then the last tho. All of the holiday madness should be interesting. I have been so tired the last couple of days so I am not to sure how much I will be able to post. Gotta go to work soon. Money money money.....gotta go make me some.

Freakin Friday

I feel like a loser, because what sounds good right now is a nap and some trashy reality television. I am exhausted and I don't know why. Wait, maybe it was because I stayed up until 3am and woke up at 9am. I shouldn't feel obligated to paint the town red because it's Friday. I don't want to waste a perfectly good Friday night tho. I feel like if I go to sleep early I will miss out on something.
Today is the start of a busy busy week. Did I mention busy?? I have to map out my master Black Friday plans. I work every day until Thanksgiving day. I need to figure out what I'm going to cook. I am so indecisive about every freakin' thing! I hate that about myself and have no clue how to change it. Just do what I feel is right, right? Ha if I only had a dollar for how many times I did do that and I was wrong. Ha ha! I need to give myself more credit though. I don't do that very often.....

I am getting excited for Christmas shopping, which is surprising. Working in a mall usually makes me hate this time of year. I remember the one black Friday that I ventured out was crazy! People pushing and shoving like crazy. I guess the reason I am mostly excited about it, is because I actually have enough money to shop. I live paycheck to paycheck but I am doing better. I am working more, hence, making more and I like that. I like money.....sometime. 

Pajama party...

Yeah, its 648 at night and I am still in my pajamas. If thats not lazy I don't know what is. But I am recuperating from last nights birthday bash. It was a lot of fun. The birthday girl enjoyed herself so much she barfed. We danced the night away and took lots of shots and pictures.

I can't seem to do anything right today except for nothing. I haven't even attempted any sort of anything. I need to do laundry and dishes like no other. Do they sell motivation somewhere and I missed it? I need some in a serious way!

I did take a kind of cool picture last night of the dance floor. I will share....



Yeah I don't know. Not my best stuff but I think its different. I like different.

When I was your age!

It happened yesterday, and its probably happened before, but I used the phrase "When I was that age..." I immediately stopped in mid sentence.  I was like OMG. That phrase makes me feel old. I remember all of my older family members saying things like that. When did I become this older person?

Well tonight is a cold one. Last night the snow was so pretty! I was out side and I was mesmerized by it. I know that feeling will fade fast though. I almost felt like I was in a snow globe. I was right in the middle of embracing it and then I got a snow flake right directly into my pupil! That bastard snow flake. How dare it float all innocent like into my eyeball. **note to self ** close your eyes when looking up in a snow shower!

Well today is one of my friends 21st birthday and we are going out. I think all the times I have been blogging and then saying I'm going out, might make me sound like a bar fly. Tonight will be a good time tho. I never really got to enjoy my 21st beings I was pregnant, so I like to live vicariously through them. Ha!

Watch out for my moves!

I just feel like dancing today! I'm not sure why. Maybe its just the song I'm listening to.



Yeah, it just gets to me. It makes me wanna go out and dance. I think I watch too much dancing with the stars.....Lol. Well its been an interesting week so far. Have yet to sleep at my house. I still have a lot to get done, but when isn't there. I am convinced that I want to start doing Zumba. Its pretty cheap for 4 classes and the first one is free. I also have some people that would do it with me. All I know is that I need to work on my fitness, you're my witness. Ha ha! Well I gotta work tonight so I need to be getting ready but I will try to post something amazing later.
from my fingers to the keys to your eyes :)

just another manic Monday...

Surprisingly this is not getting old for me. It does stress me out to make sure that I write something and make sure to do it every day. I know I don't always have to be "on" or whatever, but I like being deep and profound. Ha! That just makes me laugh.
I am seriously itching for some creativeness! I am thinking about asking some of my friends to let me take pictures of them. I have a couple planned but I would like to get a better camera. I know I could do so much more with a better camera. I have a really good one now and I told myself that I wouldn't get a new one until I learned everything about this one that I could. It does get frustrating at times to learn about it because it is a lot to remember and lots of numbers and different things. Shutter speed, exposure time, lighting, f-stop, aperture settings. A lot of times I am just stuck in the auto mode on my camera and I hate that. I am just yearning for something super creative.

Okay, on to something else.....I need to get some stuff done today, as I do everyday, ha! Time to be motivated!!! Ok! Ready? Set! GO!!!!!!!!  

Ha didn't get much done cept' a little bit of gossip and chit chat with my mother. Work should be very very interesting tonight.....mixed feelings.

super quick

Ok so this is going to be super quick. Just got off work. Going to watch the game. Probably won't be home til later or tomorrow. I need a vacation. Work was drama.....blah blah blah.... see ya later alligator.

Oh who knows?

Hmm today has been a lazy day. I love lazy days but I think I have too many of them. Hell, its my day off and no kids, I should be semi lazy. But this house needs a little tlc. I should say apartment.
So I find myself at home on a Saturday night cooking a stew, sipping coffee, and watching Bridget Jones's Diary.
Wow I never thought that would be on my agenda. Yeah sure, I could go out. I still might go somewhere. But I've not been in the mood. Maybe a nice hot shower would help. Oh who have I become? LOL

Dare I say it but I actually enjoyed that movie. Eesh I guess that can be another guilty pleasure of mine. I also watched the Real house wives of somewhere today. I kinda liked that too. Oh man, I need to get out of the house more or, develop a non tv watching hobby.

Ok, I have decided to go out tonight. Seems like I got a little itch for some beer on the town.....

That thing I do

I usually will start my blogs early in the morning. Weather it be past midnight or after I run the kids to school. I can usually get a good head start on my thinking when the sun is not yet up. I continue to add more as the day goes by if possible. When I work late, however, I usually post first thing as I get home.

I do have a few topics I would like to cover in the next day or so. Not quite sure when it's all gonna flow out of my brain and to my finger tips.
I have come to learn that the later it is in the day the less my brain works. But I have all of tomorrow off and I'm stoked. Not too sure what is going on tonight, but I think I might have a decent time. My kids are off on a staying-at-grandma's adventure. So it's mommy time. I sure will miss them tomorrow though, we usually spend our Saturday's doing something fun. I guess it will be just me.

Lose yourself

I guess the thing that scares me the most is me losing who I am. I feel like this lack of creativity has made me a little paranoid. I guess maybe if I was more secure with myself I wouldn't even feel like that could ever happen. I need to work on that. I do think that being positive about certain things has helped. It helps me love myself more.

Everyone wants to be good at something. I never felt, for a long time, that I had any talents. I now know that if I just hone the skills of what I love doing, I can be talented in many things.
Needless to say I'm feeling out of my funk. Maybe it was pms, lol.....Who knows? Or maybe it was the baking of the cookies at 11 at night.

The weekend is near and I'm kind of excited for it. I'm feeling good about it. Really excited for next week also because a good friend turns 21!! I never really got to enjoy mine, so it's nice to see someone else have fun.

It's off in the distance

It's off in the distance
Originally uploaded by number1joyce

If this isn't exactly how I feel I don't know what is.

Hair pulling day!

Oh man I am having one of those days. The type where you just wanna pull your hair out! The kind of day that you have crying whining screaming children that won't quit. The type where you have to control your patience so that you don't scream. I feel guilty saying all of that but I know we all have our days. I'm not a perfect parent but I try to be a good one. I guess I am my worst critic on that issue, or all of mine.
I was really thinking lately about how I feel that I'm lacking in some areas. I feel like I am seriously lacking in the creativity area and I need a way to tap into it. Then I get hard on myself. I know that even the best photographers don't take amazing pictures with every click of the shutter. But lately its been hard. I use to tell myself that I want to learn something new everyday. As I was feeling down on myself a little today I was thinking. You can't force yourself to learn something new everyday right? Hmm well right there is something new that I learned. Maybe its not true tho. I think if I tried hard enough and gave it my all I really could. And I should!

Plain White T's - Rhythm Of Love

I just can't seem to get this song out of my head. I have played it at least 10 times in the last day. Just one of those feel good songs that I love.

Cutting it close

Woah, I feel like I'm cutting this one a little close here. Who can blame me though, really. I get off work and have tons of things to do. Gotta get the kids all settled for bed, gotta make sure there are clothes clean for them in the morning. I usually clean, or try to, before I sit down and relax. I put them in pajamas and tuck them in. Which some days takes forever. Oh the joys of parenting.

The first snowfall of the season happened today. I was dreading it but when I saw my son trying to catch a snowflake on his tongue it excited me. I took them sledding last year and I am pretty sure I'm the one who had the most fun!

I do honestly feel like I'm lacking in the creativity lately. I don't know what to do about that. I need some inspiration.

Chaos

Is this really South Dakota in November? Ok, it's 73 degrees outside and it still has yet to snow. Gosh I hope I didn't jinx it. It really has be beautiful out! I feel kind of guilty for not getting out and taking pictures.

Today was a busy and chaotic day for me. I took my son to the dermatologist to find out that he might have psoriasis. The poor kid, they had to do a skin biopsy and make sure. He now has two stitches and 3 prescription medications!

Well I was excited for today, last night, now not so much. I have no one to watch Monday night football with. Plans fell through or something. I guess I'm just in a mood to feel sorry for myself, and I hate that. I still get to watch the game. Maybe I will go buy myself a beer before the game starts.

I just hate the feeling that the weight of the world is on my shoulders. I think its just my raging hormones!! Yay, I love being a woman.

Movie night

Worked today...I'm really not in the mood for anything. I have a stomach ache from all the popcorn and soda I drank at the movies. I went to Megamind 3D. It was really cute. It was the first 3D movie for my children and it was a little bit tough because Logan just recently got his glasses. It's also hard for him to sit and pay attention for longer then 30 minutes. I am excited for tomorrow because I have the day off and.............MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL. I need to find someone to tag along. Maybe I don't. I could go and watch it by myself but that might be a little weird. blah blah blah blah blah...........I really don't know what else to say.

Strip Me....Natasha Bedingfield lyrics

Everyday I fight for 
All my future somethings 
A thousand little wars 
I have to choose between 
I could spend a lifetime 
Earning things that I don't need 
But that's like chasing rainbows 
And coming home empty 
And if you strip me, 
Strip it all away 
If you strip me, 
What would you find 
If you strip me, 
Strip it all away 
Ill be alright 

Take what you want 
Steal my pride 
Build me up 
Or cut me down to size 
Shut me out 
But I'll just scream 
Im only one voice in a million 
but you aint taking that from me 
Oh oh no you aint taking that from me 

I dont need a microphone, yeah, 
To say what I been thinking 
My heart is like a loudspeaker 
Thats always on eleven 
And if you strip me, 
Strip it all away 
If you strip me, 
What would you find 



If you strip me, 
Strip it all away 
I'm still the same 

Take what you want 
Steal my pride 
Build me up 
Or cut me down to size 
Shut me out 
But I'll just scream 
Im only one voice in a million 
but you aint taking that from me 
Oh oh no you aint taking that from me 

'cuz when it all boils down 
At the end of the day 
It's what you do and say 
That makes you who you are 
Makes you think about it, 
Think about it 
Doesn't it 
Sometimes all it takes is one voice 

Take what you want 
Steal my pride 
Build me up 
Or cut me down to size 
Shut me out 
But I'll just scream 
Im only one voice in a million 
but you aint taking that from me 
Oh oh no you aint taking that from me


[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/strip-me-lyrics-natasha-bedingfield.html ]

Undecided Title.

So it's Saturday night and I just got off work. I now will probably do nothing but kick back and relax. Or kick back and think about things. I am so good at driving myself crazy. Over thinking is my forte. I suppose all women are good at that. I really don't know what to say about things that have been going on the last couple of days. I am so confused. I guess I just will have faith that everything will work out on its own. I find it weird when people pop back into your life.

Caught off guard

Well holy mole.....that's about all I can say right now. I am in utter shock! I am literally sitting here and shaking. I don't know what I should do or say. Now I have a knot in my stomach. Its really not a big deal I guess. This sort of thing happens to lots of girls I suppose, but never me. I guess I don't really know the intent of this shocking phone call.

Ok, I will elaborate a little more. My ex, from about 8 months ago, called me out of the blue. He wants to talk and I'm not to sure how I feel about it. I am in somewhat of a new relationship and I don't know what to think, or do. I do like the new guy but I have seen a few red flags. I just have such a strong attraction/lust for him and it blinds me.(the new guy)....The ex hurt me pretty bad in the past and lied about something very important. I don't know what he wants to talk about. There has been little to no contact since I told him I couldn't be with him anymore.

I guess I will just sit here a while and listen to some music and wait for the answer.....

I just hate the feeling of being so lost. I thought I had a grip on where I was and where I am going.
I will probably post more later, if not I will fill ya in tomorrow.

Life Story....

I wonder if I am really that interesting? Can you relate to my thoughts, my life, and my experiences. I have a hard time knowing what to filter on here about myself. Should I say this or that? Was that too much? I sometimes think that I over share with my friends and others. I don't want something to come back and bite me in the butt.

One of the best compliments I have gotten in a while was thrown at me today. Well kind of. I was leaving the gas station today and I had just got done saying hi to a man that works there. As I walked away he said; "She is the nicest girl I've ever known"........I was floored. I just kept walking outside to my car. I first doubted that he was directing his words at me. I don't really know the man very well. We sometimes have a little small talk when I am in there for a late night cigarette run. I have been going to that same convenience store for about 5 years. I am always friendly to everyone and that compliment really gives me the serious case of the warm fuzzies.

I have also come to the conclusion that there are a lot of things I have not done. Last night I had a first...( I won't get into what exactly it was to save myself some embarrassment) I want more! I want to do things I've never done and have new experiences.

So I took my son to the eye doctor today and found out he needs glasses! He picked out his very own frames and he looks so adorable in them. I am nervous to see how long until he needs a new pair. Hope this helps him out.
(sorry if my blog seems to have A.D.D.) That's just the kind of day I'm having.

Leave the pieces

Today has been an on and off sort of day. I feel some feelings of resentment and then guilt because of it. Sometimes I just feel like I am expected to be superwoman. Do this and do that, and all the weight of the world is on my shoulders. I get angry, thinking how dare you make me do everything! Then I think I should want this. I should want to do all I can and all that is in my power. I resent the one person that should help but doesn't. Then again I don't really ask because in the times that I have I just get let down. I guess as the saying goes, if you want something done right you gotta do it yourself. I am left to clean up this mess and fix everything. Oh no don't you worry about it! I will pick up the pieces you leave.

Howie Day - Collide

Just for me.

Today I saw the most beautiful sunset I have ever seen. I went out on my lunch break and there it was. The colors were so amazing. I just stood there mesmerized by the neon orange and pink colors. I did take a picture on my cell phone but it is so low quality that you can't get the true feeling. I wanted to share it with someone but by the time I was done with my cigarette it was gone. I feel like it was just for me.

I felt really bad today because I didn't vote. I did try however, I went to the school admin. building and handed the woman my ID and she said I had to fill out another voter registration form and go to the school in the valley. I had about a half an hour until I had to be to work so I knew that I would not make it. The part I hate the most is that many woman, a long time ago, fought for this right I have now. I feel like I've let those people down...

Well I have the next 3 days off!! Whooyeah! Hopefully I can get some stuff that needs to be done, done.
Until tomorrow ya'll!!

Quickie

Ok this will be a quick one. I'm not sure if I will be able to be home on time to do another blog today. I have had another one of the lazy days but now I'm off to work! If I can post more later I will!


Okay, I am home with a little of time to spare....its 11:15 so I do have 45 more minutes of the day left. Had to do a late night Walmart run. Oh how I love those! Not....ha ha ha yes, I still say that. I almost had a mini meltdown in the middle of the dairy section tho. They were waxing the floor area where the coffee creamer is. But I pulled myself together and got the powdered version of my stuff. I might just go back in the morning and get the real deal, but probably not.
There is a nice smoky haze over the city. Smells like one big campfire. It's kinda nice, but then kind of annoying! That is about all there is to tell that I can think of. Sorry I'm not very deep and profound tonight. Maybe next time....