Under pressure

I have decided tonight that I am under quarantine. I am in such a lousy mood that just makes me want to scream/cry/punch someone. Why? Hmmm well cause I am a woman!!! I reserve the right to change my moods in a split second, and my mind. I also feel like I should be allowed to scream at whomever I want!!!!!!  Gosh I hate sounding mean. Hum, mood swing much?


Well I have to say last night got me thinking. I was talking with my bestie and she was talking about me, and how she gets to be my Maid of Honor when I get married. Well s#it! What if I never get married?? Well that kind of talk has come up before and has put my head in a spiral! It always gets me thinking about marriage and how far away from it I am. Then I feel like some sort of loser that doesn't know how to keep a relationship. Ah, love is totally not my forte'!


**Don't get me wrong, I know that people do things on their own time. Not all of us walk and talk at the same time. Hell, I learned to tie my shoes about the same time as my brother, and we are 6 years apart!   Any ways, I still feel a little behind in this type of situation. I have one friend that has been married numerous (more then 2) times, and she is younger then I.**


So then I get to thinking that I won't ever find someone to love. When I tell my bff that she entirely disagrees. Then says something that I can't stop thinking about. She told me I deserved to find love...... Well "f" don't hungry people deserve food? Didn't we all deserve something at one point that we just didn't get? Did we not work hard enough for it? How do I really know that I deserve it?? 



Brain overload now.....sheesh! what a Friday....